If you have been following me for a while now you have heard me talk about walking in the darkness. While I won’t go into details on this specific blog post, however, if you’d like to know more about my story you can check out my blog post-godswoventruth.com/2022/07/13/an-emotional-breakthrough/ there you will find more about the dark road I traveled after a significant loss in my life. In this particular season, I was attempting to gather my emotions and pick up all the teeny tiny broken pieces. 

One thing is for certain it is hard to see in the dark. It is hard to gather emotions and put things back together, especially after the loss of something you love whether that be the loss of a person, a broken marriage, a church, a friendship, or even a job loss. 

As broken pieces surrounded me, I was trying to pick up each tiny little piece to piece it back together to make me whole again, all the while in the dark. What does this new whole look like? I couldn’t imagine trying to piece back a broken glass in the dark. Could you imagine what the outcome of the glass would be? As I visualize this in my head, we all know putting the pieces back together in the dark wouldn’t exactly be in their rightful places. In fact, it probably wouldn’t even resemble a glass anymore. I believe God uses the dark in our lives to refine and recreate us into a new creation. He uses our mess to create a message. 

Here are a few things that I learned as I was traveling the road of brokenness. 

• I don’t need closure/apology from the person who hurt me to move forward. For a year and a half I would pray and pray that said person(s) would reach out to my husband and I so we could get some closure and reconciliation. I am a person who likes to talk things out and work through things. God released me of this about six months ago. I don’t need closure to move forward with what The Lord has planned for us. Learning this gave me freedom and permission to heal. (Yes, we did reach out after the said incident, to no avail from the person(s).) 
  
• In the silent seasons, we have the choice to believe and rely on God OR to give way to the doubt of the enemy. The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. John 10:10 Jesus came so that we would have life and have life ABUNDANTLY. John 10:10
  
• What if we stopped to consider the purpose of the darkness? The darkness is one of the most vulnerable and valuable places where God teaches His children. Take Elijah for example he wanted to end his life, God met him there in the barren desert. Sometimes our darkness takes us to the weirdest places like Jonah in the belly of a whale, God met him there. 
  
• Rather than doing more, we need to do less. Nobody likes the darkness so naturally, we try to hurry through it to get it over with. With this in thought, we miss what God is doing in and through our dark season. Maybe we are meant to sit in it to examine it and engage it. Maybe if maybe, we are meant to REST in it.
  
• Learning to let go of the control we tightly hold onto in the times we cannot see tomorrow. God was so gracious to give us Proverbs 3:5-6 at the pinnacle of My husband and I’s ministry. Letting go of control is the hardest for me. But God has given me the words, “Lean not on your own understanding” to fall back on when I try to control or make sense of the hard season in our life. God’s word brings life and light into the darkness. Thy word is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. Psalm 119:105
  
• Whatever you go through or have gone through God has a way of using it to help others. When we are in the darkness it is as if it seems like it is never going to end. But as we travel it, we learn and grow through it. I would have never learned the things I am writing to you today if I hadn’t traveled through it. He causes all things to work together for our good and His glory. Romans 8:28
  
• Don’t waste your darkness. Let God use your darkness to inspire, encourage and lift others up who face the same/similar situations.
  
• Look beyond your darkness. When all you can see is what you’re going through right now it is often hard to have a positive outlook on life. This is when I acted and posted Isaiah 43:19 on my bathroom mirror “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” This wasn’t the only verse I had posted; I had a scripture verse in every room of my house to focus on when my thoughts went wayward. 
  
• Get to know the God of the darkness. Whatever darkness you are in or facing get to know the God of it. Whatever it may be God allowed it to come to pass, nothing comes to pass without God’s permission. Talk to Him about it, are you mad? Tell Him. Do you hate Him for it? Tell Him. Open His word to hear back from Him. We see David do this in the Psalms; repeatedly we capture David pouring out his heart to His God.
  
• Learning to live fully in the dark seasons of life is challenging but NOT impossible. For with God, ALL THINGS are possible. We must make the choice to look beyond our hurt, to look beyond what we cannot see and really seek out God’s heart and see what He is revealing to us. It may feel as if you are alone in the darkness, but God is ever so present sitting right in the midst of it with you. We are too busy trying to get through the darkness and we don’t take time to rest in it and engage it. Now I will be honest with you, these words are much easier for me to say now that we bear the scars of the hurt rather than when our wounds were gaping open and pouring out blood. Truth is we needed a tourniquet and we needed one FAST!!! These words wouldn’t have been able to come out of my mouth during my darkness let alone the energy to even type them. That’s why it’s been 2 1/2 years later that I am able to share this with you. God was teaching me. I pray over you and that God will turn these ashes into BEAUTY for you!

In Christ,

Jessica Parnell